BEAUTY!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I might agree to the premise however, the person who said that might have been cockeyed! I don’t have a typical view either! Can someone explain the beauty obsession to me? Mankind spent millions of years evolving from hairy, foul smelling, unsightly animals to become civilized creatures of devotion looking well groomed and bouncing down the road with a fragrant scented, appealing attire.
Womankind happily flocks to the nearest cosmetic counter to fritter away their hard earned dollars. They are oblivious to the picture of George Washington and the other Presidents on those precious bills. How ironic! Just think of how those legends and their wives lived. Wooden teeth, semi- weekly bathing, out houses, and something akin to towels instead of tampons were the order of their day. Have you tried to find the “beauty” of their wives? I don’t know how succeeding generations would have ever appeared if these men spent time looking at the mates they chose. Why people learned to close their eyes when kissing their partner makes perfect sense. It must have germinated from a sensory deprivation perspective so as to assure survival of the species. Holy cow the modern woman of the 1800’s was a presentation of unattractiveness! Apparently, ugly was a condition of Victorian age.
We turned the corner with the industrial revolution and beautification became more of a 20th century phenomenon. The second half of the 1900’s exploded with the message: WAKE UP YOU HIDEOUS THING! LOOK IN THE MIRROR IF YOU CAN WITHOUT CRACKING IT! All of this seemed to advance in the wake of the appearance of Phyllis Diller in the 1960’s. With her on the scene as a skinny, eye challenging, stand-up comedian with a wild housewife hairdo, she gave cause for the rest of America to reflect. They looked and while they could identify with the unsightly condition and laugh, they didn’t like what they saw in themselves! Enter Mary Kay, Max Factor, Maybeline and The Flintstones. The cartoon represents a point of view of escapism. It is where ugly people would go who hadn’t discovered how to change their look. Plus everyone could always count themselves as better looking than Fred. An obsession was born!
In this country we spend millions of dollars of our hard earned labor simply to make ourselves presentable to someone else. So what is so wrong with looking like your hair and face slept in a paper shredder last night? The Ugly Duckling is a wonderful story but Hans Christen Anderson was no beauty either. It really exemplifies where to look for the beauty most are seeking. You’ve sometimes got to look for the swan lurking under those feathers.
Men want to wake up next to Cheryl Tiegs or Christy Brinkly yes that is true. But do you know what those women look like without their make up? They look like our wives! How’s that for shattering your faith in Hollywood!
Why do we reject our prehistoric heritage so? I suppose the answer is obvious. Who wants to live with an unsightly stench ridden animal who is the victim of uglyosis? Ask most wives and they’ll tell you that state of existence is what marriage is all about. Okay so men are more masculine and our testosterone lets you know we’re coming into a room before we get there. What’s the big deal? How loudly do we complain when the lady’s paint their finger and toenails like cheap Singapore hookers offering the $7 Saturday night special? The color of choice by the way is always some shade of red! 4 out of 5 harlots prefer crimson over the other colors of the rainbow.
As men we have been trained by Madison Avenue to drool over whatever makeup freak show the feminine sex displays. We’ve been conditioned like Pavlov’s dog who by the way knew how to appropriately apply make-up better than the average women. Please ladies if you’re going to wear it take a make-up artist class or something. I spent too many blind dates in my youth going out with makeup victims who looked like ghost women or Krusty the Clown.
Senior men are not as dashing as the myth portrays either. Oh we’re striking alright; like the aftermath of an ugly stick attack! Looking at our reflection we yell “HEY WHO TOOK MY FACE!” Then we think to ourselves, “maybe it slipped while I was sleeping, and the good looking face is hidden under my protruding belly fat!” Sure we have as many folds of skin as a Shar-Pei (sharpay) puppy! We become as cute as old shriveled fruit left in the dehydrator. Just add a touch of grey to the temples we are considered distinguished. Ha, once again I’m glad to be of the less fair gender! Not having to wear high heels, and that baby thing, means men have got it better!
We’re allowed more delusion in our rationalization too. In reflecting upon this topic most men think “I don’t know where my youthful good looks have gone. If you want to see what Tom Cruise is going to look like in 25 years glance my way.” The deterioration would drive a lesser man over the edge. Actually at my house we just removed the mirrors. Men don’t want extra ordinary beauty measures especially after we’re married! We’re just happy scratching ourselves as all women with a Mrs. title in front of their name’s are well aware! Men want natural beauty without all of the aids! As someone who spent 35 + years looking for that special kind of beauty in a woman I understand that is hard to find. When I finally found her she needed no makeup at all. I won’t comment on any change in hers looks because I like sleeping in our bed. We sleep with our eyes closed too so I don’t have to comment on changes. Everything looks better in the dark and after a few drinks. Also, our couch is the kind that leaves ridges in your face when you sleep on it. If I keep going to work with face ridges my coworkers may get wise! So far my comrades just think they are the usual wrinkles.
Most women have a short window of opportunity to shine their best. Usually that occurs in their late teens to mid 20’s. After that being plain is an admirable goal. That is not true of all people however. It is because of those exceptions that the entire beauty industry thrives. It is for the rest of the plain people to kid themselves, remember their peak, and to dream on. As for me I avoid my reflection as much as possible and squint when I look at my loved one. At night she returns a loving glance ever the fibber about my sex appeal. It’s lucky for us that we both have x-ray vision to see beneath each other’s skin. Hers is under a pound of makeup! As for the pillows on our bed they are stuffed with down feathers from swans, or perhaps ugly ducklings!
Womankind happily flocks to the nearest cosmetic counter to fritter away their hard earned dollars. They are oblivious to the picture of George Washington and the other Presidents on those precious bills. How ironic! Just think of how those legends and their wives lived. Wooden teeth, semi- weekly bathing, out houses, and something akin to towels instead of tampons were the order of their day. Have you tried to find the “beauty” of their wives? I don’t know how succeeding generations would have ever appeared if these men spent time looking at the mates they chose. Why people learned to close their eyes when kissing their partner makes perfect sense. It must have germinated from a sensory deprivation perspective so as to assure survival of the species. Holy cow the modern woman of the 1800’s was a presentation of unattractiveness! Apparently, ugly was a condition of Victorian age.
We turned the corner with the industrial revolution and beautification became more of a 20th century phenomenon. The second half of the 1900’s exploded with the message: WAKE UP YOU HIDEOUS THING! LOOK IN THE MIRROR IF YOU CAN WITHOUT CRACKING IT! All of this seemed to advance in the wake of the appearance of Phyllis Diller in the 1960’s. With her on the scene as a skinny, eye challenging, stand-up comedian with a wild housewife hairdo, she gave cause for the rest of America to reflect. They looked and while they could identify with the unsightly condition and laugh, they didn’t like what they saw in themselves! Enter Mary Kay, Max Factor, Maybeline and The Flintstones. The cartoon represents a point of view of escapism. It is where ugly people would go who hadn’t discovered how to change their look. Plus everyone could always count themselves as better looking than Fred. An obsession was born!
In this country we spend millions of dollars of our hard earned labor simply to make ourselves presentable to someone else. So what is so wrong with looking like your hair and face slept in a paper shredder last night? The Ugly Duckling is a wonderful story but Hans Christen Anderson was no beauty either. It really exemplifies where to look for the beauty most are seeking. You’ve sometimes got to look for the swan lurking under those feathers.
Men want to wake up next to Cheryl Tiegs or Christy Brinkly yes that is true. But do you know what those women look like without their make up? They look like our wives! How’s that for shattering your faith in Hollywood!
Why do we reject our prehistoric heritage so? I suppose the answer is obvious. Who wants to live with an unsightly stench ridden animal who is the victim of uglyosis? Ask most wives and they’ll tell you that state of existence is what marriage is all about. Okay so men are more masculine and our testosterone lets you know we’re coming into a room before we get there. What’s the big deal? How loudly do we complain when the lady’s paint their finger and toenails like cheap Singapore hookers offering the $7 Saturday night special? The color of choice by the way is always some shade of red! 4 out of 5 harlots prefer crimson over the other colors of the rainbow.
As men we have been trained by Madison Avenue to drool over whatever makeup freak show the feminine sex displays. We’ve been conditioned like Pavlov’s dog who by the way knew how to appropriately apply make-up better than the average women. Please ladies if you’re going to wear it take a make-up artist class or something. I spent too many blind dates in my youth going out with makeup victims who looked like ghost women or Krusty the Clown.
Senior men are not as dashing as the myth portrays either. Oh we’re striking alright; like the aftermath of an ugly stick attack! Looking at our reflection we yell “HEY WHO TOOK MY FACE!” Then we think to ourselves, “maybe it slipped while I was sleeping, and the good looking face is hidden under my protruding belly fat!” Sure we have as many folds of skin as a Shar-Pei (sharpay) puppy! We become as cute as old shriveled fruit left in the dehydrator. Just add a touch of grey to the temples we are considered distinguished. Ha, once again I’m glad to be of the less fair gender! Not having to wear high heels, and that baby thing, means men have got it better!
We’re allowed more delusion in our rationalization too. In reflecting upon this topic most men think “I don’t know where my youthful good looks have gone. If you want to see what Tom Cruise is going to look like in 25 years glance my way.” The deterioration would drive a lesser man over the edge. Actually at my house we just removed the mirrors. Men don’t want extra ordinary beauty measures especially after we’re married! We’re just happy scratching ourselves as all women with a Mrs. title in front of their name’s are well aware! Men want natural beauty without all of the aids! As someone who spent 35 + years looking for that special kind of beauty in a woman I understand that is hard to find. When I finally found her she needed no makeup at all. I won’t comment on any change in hers looks because I like sleeping in our bed. We sleep with our eyes closed too so I don’t have to comment on changes. Everything looks better in the dark and after a few drinks. Also, our couch is the kind that leaves ridges in your face when you sleep on it. If I keep going to work with face ridges my coworkers may get wise! So far my comrades just think they are the usual wrinkles.
Most women have a short window of opportunity to shine their best. Usually that occurs in their late teens to mid 20’s. After that being plain is an admirable goal. That is not true of all people however. It is because of those exceptions that the entire beauty industry thrives. It is for the rest of the plain people to kid themselves, remember their peak, and to dream on. As for me I avoid my reflection as much as possible and squint when I look at my loved one. At night she returns a loving glance ever the fibber about my sex appeal. It’s lucky for us that we both have x-ray vision to see beneath each other’s skin. Hers is under a pound of makeup! As for the pillows on our bed they are stuffed with down feathers from swans, or perhaps ugly ducklings!
posted by Giosue' Santarelli at 9:00 AM
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